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snazzy star wars

this is the gooood stuff man.

Two months on from the release of The Last Jedi, most all people I have talked to or have read reviews from have said that this is "the best Star Wars film to date". I personally would like to bury that statement by saying, the film is alright. The action scenes can be enticing, the flashing colours can draw in several small children at a cinema screen, and overall the film works if the type of film you're looking to watch is a cheap action flick with no real resolution (sort of like everything the DC Cinematic Universe has produced in the last decade). This film however, as a "Star Wars film" misses the mark by a long shot, and quite honestly is more of a botched job than the prequel movies and 2015's release: The Force Awakens combined. This sadly is not coming from me as a Star Wars hater, but as someone who has read nearly all of the books, watched all the shows and played most all the games both before and after Star Wars' acquisition by Disney, as well as spending hundreds of pounds a year on Star Wars collectors pieces and memorabilia. Star Wars Episode VIII has the worst writing of any of the Star Wars films (primarily the writing of the story and the script, god knows we all remember the atrocity that was the dialogue of Attack of the Clones), as well as the worst character development out of all of them, and most importantly director Rian Johnson has somehow managed to retcon a large majority of established Star Wars lore.

Warning: from here on out the review will contain a large amount of spoilers, however it has been a month and if you were truly that bothered one would assume you've already seen the film by now. That being said, proceed with caution.

The worst part about this film by far is the excess use of comedy. Not even five minutes in we're greeted with a conversation between the First Order's General Hux and the Resistance's Poe Dameron, wherein the pilot continually gets Hux's name wrong and subsequently throws in a joke about his mother. Furthermore, in moments that should be tense and gripping, they are undermined by the use of the force to primarily create moments of slapstick comedy, the main culprit of this is the main, menacing bad guy of the film Supreme Leader Snoke, which really says a lot about the tone of the film. Luke Skywalker is also one of the leaders of this comedic sideshow, pulling odd faces while drinking green milk and brushing his shoulder upon being fired upon by fleets of assault walkers. This for me makes the film feel like more of a Marvel film, which in some cases may not necessarily be a bad thing, but during the mid part of a trilogy comedy shouldn't be a main focus, especially if it hasn't been in previous installments.

The comic relief in the form of BB-8 is shown to be one of the most overpowered characters in the entire movie. Upon Poe's guns being cut off from his X-Wing, he needs them restored and ready to fire at a highly crucial moment to take out a remaining turret. Luckily BB-8 is there to save the day by slamming his head into a circuit board to fix the resistors that have all but gone now. Later in the film he helps new character, DJ, hijack a spaceship all by their lonesomes (not before subduing several guards all on his own just mere minutes beforehand). Finally, at a highly climatic part towards the end of the film where Finn and Rose must escape impending doom, BB-8 hijacks a First Order AT-ST, again without the help of anyone around.

Towards the start of the film, the Resistance base is about to be blown sky high by a new ship, a Dreadnought, dubbed the "Fulminatrix". This new ship is basically a Star Destroyer yet with a large cannon strapped on to the front. The only mission of this beast of a machine is to simply blow everyone up to oblivion. Somehow, they're stalled by a single X-Wing of which is threatening to blow up its anti-aircraft turrets, as otherwise, it poses no threat to the ship due to it being only a single fighter. However this does lead way to the ability for Poe's squadron of bombers to attack the Dreadnought. While although this squadron may look like they'd be able to obliterate any fleet, in reality they served about as well as the Maginot Line. All but one of these rickety spacecrafts are obliterated almost instantaneously by TIE fighters, and the one that does survive miraculously (and highly coincidentally) blows up the Dreadnought in the end. However even if any of the bombers did survive, they would likely befall the same fate as the only one which actually made its bombing run. The way the bomber is designed shows a large, downwards tunnel area of which is lined with hundreds of bombs. These bombs are dropped consecutively, not simultaneously, meaning if the first bomb to drop were to detonate while others were still falling, a chain reaction would be created sending the craft up in flames (as was seen with the final remaining bomber). How this made it past concept design I don't think anyone will ever know.

Another main problem is how director Rian Johnson has built his adaptation of the Star Wars universe. While it's okay for writers to introduce new aspects to a story, these additions shouldn't overwrite pre-existing known information. For example, the capital ship of the Resistance, the Raddus is constantly trying to escape the First Order throughout the film yet only has a few hours of fuel remaining. Fuel of a capital ship has never been an affecting factor in the Star Wars universe (primarily fuel is used for lighter crafts) so now why it seems to have cropped up and be a hindering factor of the Resistance's progress is unbeknownst to anyone. Additionally the mechanic of tracking through lightspeed means lightspeed is no longer a viable thing for escaping space battles, meaning any further plans for the use of lightspeed are essentially scrapped (that is without the constant question arising of "why didn't they just track them like before?"). Not to mention, the fact that Snoke didn't even know he had lightspeed tracking on his own capital ship suggests to me that it was just thrown in to move the plot along, rather than letting the plot fit in with the established universe.

Supreme Leader Snoke in general is a badly written character. In Episode VII he was perceived to be this all knowing, long living, extremely powerful bad guy, yet his appearance in this film is lackluster to say the least. I think the thing that got me the most was that he died within thirty minutes of appearing on screen, meaning all this character set-up and hints about his past were for nought. In the novels Snoke even laughs at the aspect of Palpatine's death in Return of the Jedi for dying so easily to his apprentice. In the film the lead-up to his death is much the same, of him putting too much faith in his apprentice and being misguided by the force, meaning all Snoke's death did was create an ironic moment where the audience can look back and scoff at how his character got such little closure. One could argue Snoke's primary function in the film was to further the character development of Kylo Ren, yet by the end nothing has changed. He's still the same character he was at the start, yet has slightly more control over the First Order.

Other characters sadly are also subject to this treatment. Luke Skywalker, the face of Star Wars, the main hero, is written in such a way where his character may as well not even have needed to be there. Even actor Mark Hamill has gone out of his way on multiple occasions to state on record that he fundamentally disagrees with everything Luke's character is comprised of in the newest film. The main problem isn't that Luke is a broken shell of a man. While it is unlikely a character such as himself would cut himself away from the force and go into complete hiding, I can accept it's not completely implausible, the real affecting factor which deters me from the character of Luke is how he got to this position. The reason he went into hiding, the reason his Jedi Academy was destroyed, the reason why Ben Solo turned to the dark side and became Kylo Ren was because Luke sensed the dark in him and was about to strike down a young boy in his sleep. Luke Skywalker, the lightest of the light wanted to kill a child? (I suppose it runs in the family). This is highly out of character. Bear in mind this was before Luke became an island hobo crushed by depression. Even in Return of the Jedi, Luke refused to fight or kill his father because he knew there was still good in him, and now that there's a child who not only is his nephew but who is still good, still on the light side of the force yet has a small amount of unactivated dark in him, somewhat like Darth Vader, Luke is willing to strike him down in his sleep. Luke's death was also badly handled, where he used the force (of which he had been shut off from for years, a strenuous and tasking process but now magically it's just back) to project himself across the galaxy to a separate planet to confront his nephew, a task which was so straining on him that it caused him to die. In a matter of mere minutes, the Luke Skywalker is killed. If Lucasfilms (which they most likely will) bring back Luke in the next film, what was the point of killing him off? Cheap thrills? Characters such as Ben Kenobi from the original were killed to help aid Luke in his training, however the same can't be said for Luke, as the only person he could help is Rey, and Rey has already proven herself as a big enough Mary Sue to not require anymore than the minimal training she already had.

Honestly, I'm astonished by the way this desert dwelling scavenger breaks the lore and conventions of the universe she exists in in every scene she's featured in. It's constantly stated through Star Wars that with the dark side of the force, expressing fear, anger and hatred is bound to take you there, yet Rey constantly shows copious amounts of anger and hatred. She is constantly falling under these categories, whether she be repeatedly yelling at Finn in The Force Awakens, constantly tearing up when something bad happens, or even the high amounts of self-righteous anger she expresses when fighting Kylo or when begging to Luke. She goes not once but twice straight to the darkside without suffering any sorts of struggle or being morally compromised, almost as if constantly tipping over into the dark is not going to have any lasting effect on her (which we know from a certain Anakin Skywalker, that's not quite how the story goes). Somehow, after all this, Rey is still perfectly aligned to the light side of the force. While Kylo constantly has to struggle with his motivations and is often times unsure of his actions, certain ones of which actually pull him away from his dedication to the dark side and temporarily break his focus and connection to the force, Disney's golden girl could never be negatively affected, she must always strive to be the best and most modest person, helping everyone in need like a true Mary Sue should.

The way the revelation of Rey's parents (or lack thereof) was handled is just put simply, bad story writing. Now obviously I know that not everyone has to be a Kenobi or a Skywalker to be force sensitive, yet Rey's instant familiarity with the force leads us to believe she must have some prior connection, after all Anakin was only so powerful due to it being highly suggested that he was a literal manifestation of the force created by Darth Plagueis. Additionally, if the reveal was just going to be that "Rey has no parents", her wish to find the origin of her lineage shouldn't have been such a dwelled on aspect of the films. Most all Rey did in The Force Awakens (and for the first part of The Last Jedi) was an attempt to look for her parents, so for this revelation to be so belittling, feels like a large lack of closure just lingers present over the rest of the film, as now Rey's only motives are just to be completely helpless and help her friends in any way possible, further fulfilling her characteristics of being a Mary Sue.

The powers of Rey's character are inexplicably handed to her on a silver platter. She seems to have an answer for just about anything that crops up or an ability to work completely solo, not requiring assistance from any of the supporting cast (even in the fight scene in Snoke's room she held her own just as well as Kylo). She has also been shown to be completely proficient in both piloting, repairing and have an utmost understanding of all spacecraft, including ones as unique and antique as the Millenium Falcon. Her connection to the force is for whatever reason far superior to the likes of Luke and Anakin, who have both been labelled as the chosen one and still required years to train, but upon knowing she has the force, Rey is completely able to use Jedi mind tricks and force pull objects towards her in Episode VII, meaning in the most recent film, she only trains for around a day with Luke and not much is drawn from this that she didn't already know.

The way the force is handled in this movie is also quite painful to watch. Aside from Luke passing away from "using it too much" (don't do force kids), one scene really stands out as a mockery of what once was the all powerful "force". The scene where Kylo hesitates to shoot the bridge, which is then enacted by his wingmen, blasting his mother to smithereens, while making little sense due to the ship having shields everywhere but the bridge, arguably the most important part along with the hangar bay (which also doesn't have shields despite being a gaping hole into space), the scene is one of the more powerful parts in the film. Leia's death would have been really impactful and it would have been a great send off for the late, great Carrie Fisher. As the general's body floats lifeless in the cold, dark vacuum of space, suddenly, her eyes open and she extends her arm like Superman, floating towards the blown up ship "using the force", where the doors are opened for her (which surely would leak space into the ship and kill everyone) and she subsequently falls into a coma, only to awaken toward the latter half of the film after around 16 hours. Surprisingly, no one else in the cinema laughed at that scene bar me, despite how ludicrous the whole prospect seemed. People in Star Wars have been shown to survive in space before, for example Jedi Knight Kanan Jarrus who was pushed out by Darth Maul in the TV show Rebels, however Kanan was in great condition and excellent health, and was only able to get back into the ship by pushing himself off of objects around him. Leia however was just hit by a devastating blast which killed all other crew members, and glides back effortlessly as if by some miracle the force can allow her to fly wherever she wants now. Furthermore, when Yoda destroys the first Jedi temple on Ahch' To by controlling the weather to create a lightning strike even Palpatine would be proud of, the real question is; how? The force has been shown in non canon material to create storms before, however this is through the use of the combined powers of force whirlwind and force lightning, not created through moving the clouds. Giving Yoda the benefit of the doubt and saying that he may have created a force storm, this is still highly unlikely as not only was a full storm not created (only lightning), Yoda himself has never had the capability to cast force lightning (only to redirect it) due to it only being a Sith power, and for Yoda to use it so would require a complete u-turn on his Jedi philosophy. Additionally, Yoda's force ghost is able to hit Luke over the head, showing only just now that force ghosts can interact with the living world. Director Rian Johnson's explanation is that the force ghosts are just more powerful now which is all well and good, but that's already been established as not possible. In the current canon, Qui-Gon Jinn was the first person to find out how to become a force ghost, yet due to a lack of knowledge and training before his death, he can only manifest himself as a visible image when in an area that gravitates a large amount of the force, acting as a conduit to project himself into the world. By the logic Rian Johnson has provided, Qui-Gon should theoretically be able to just "train" (despite being a disembodied voice) and just appear now in the future.

Not only have past principles of previous iterations of the saga been pushed to the side, so have well-known, fan favourite characters. Those such as C-3PO, R2-D2 and Chewbacca had minimal screen time, not to mention Han Solo who despite being killed off last film, was only mentioned once. This is likely to make way for lesser important, much more bland characters, primarily the biggest abomination since Jar Jar Binks himself, Rose Tico. Rose is the most annoying character in Star Wars to date, serving only as a love interest for Finn, and to tag along in a pointless sidequest which ultimately doesn't further the plot because their plan fails anyway. Rose for whatever reason knew about the lightspeed tracking aboard Snoke's flagship, the Supremacy, yet was only a lowly engineer. Her dialogue is also highly cringey, with her most notable quote being "This is how we're going to win, not by killing those we hate but by saving those we love." which I'm sure many army soldiers could digest and explain how that simply doesn't work. Most importantly however she serves as a constant deus ex machina to save Finn whenever he needs saving. This includes a highly emotional scene where Finn is about to sacrifice himself in order to save the entirety of the Resistance, where Rose then swoops in to save him, for no other reason than "love" I guess. This leads to a cannon blowing up the entire gate that's protecting the Resistance but "hey", Rose got to steal a cheeky kiss off of Finn (despite him definitely not looking that into it). Rose subsequently falls into a coma (making her the third in this film after Finn and Leia).

The final face off of Finn and Rose's sublot involves Finn finally confronting his arch-nemesis: Captain Phasma. The whole feud between these two characters makes little sense. Finn was purely a janitor, who when promoted to being a field Stormtrooper, couldn't handle the pressure and defected. The constant rivalry makes it seem like the First Order have never had someone defect before, which is highly unlikely due to the scale of their operations. Additionally, Phasma still thinks of him as nothing, referring to him by his original code "FN-2187", showing how little she cares about him, meaning there is truly no reason for these two to be at constant loggerheads with each other. The dispute is ended once again where Phasma once more gets minimal screen time, and is defeated by a young man who was previously working as a janitor, despite her being a highly skilled and trained army captain. Unlike The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi makes Phasma's fate definitive, showing us she definitely won't be coming back next time around, making her just another Boba Fett.

The character of Admiral Holdo feels like a simple placeholder, someone who could easily be replaced by an already established character, such as Admiral Ackbar, who shows up in the film only to be killed off during his cameo. Holdo is as much of a one-dimensional character as any background character such as Ackbar, meaning her role could have easily been given to someone like him. Alternatively, her role could've been given to a much larger character which would serve as a much more impactful moment, for instance Leia, allowing her to then grant control to Admiral Holdo, making her character seem much more essential to the overarching story. Her character's main purpose however is to be a foil to Poe. Although Poe disobeys direct command from both his previous general and acting general, Holdo decides it's wise to not inform what little of the Resistance that was left of her plan, leading to a mutiny in the middle of a battle with the enemy, hindering progress. If she just informed the members of the Resistance, regardless of their rank (as that seemed to be her only justification for withholding all information from Poe), her plan likely would have had less interruptions from internal affairs, allowing for greater success.

The amount of time the film takes place over seems to be highly inconsistent. The start of the film picks up exactly where Episode VII left off (as confirmed in the new downloadable content for EA's Battlefront II). This would mean that in this amount of time, the First Order has risen to be a dominant force in the galaxy despite only just blowing up the Hosnian system, their main adversaries, a couple of days ago. Additionally, the Resistance's forces have completely dwindled despite not being stationed anywhere due to the Battle of Starkiller Base only taking place earlier that day, so forces have diminished by sitting around in their base. From here on out, the film spans over a single day, due to the Resistance leaders stating they only have around 16 hours of fuel left. This being said, while on Ahch' To Rey and Luke go through multiple day/night cycles, suggesting that the timings are not consistent with each other. If however the planet Rey and Luke are on is smaller than others, having a short day/night cycle, this would still mean Rey would have only trained for less than a day, minus when she sleeps or when Luke is running errands and drinking green milk.

As with any film, someone can always go incredibly in depth and nitpick each and every individual scene as has been done here, so what makes this film seem worse than the rest? Primarily, the expectation set up by Disney. Star Wars is Star Wars, and it always will be, however the amount of build-up to this film, being the penultimate movie in the overarching main saga, something big should happen. By the end of The Last Jedi however, the only real change is that Luke Skywalker is dead. None of the characters have changed, they're all the same as in the start of the film. Character development is at a minimal, and the writing creates plenty of loopholes meaning ultimately this movie created more damage than it controlled. Yes, the action scenes such as the fight with the Praetorian Guards or the space battle right at the start of the film are entertaining to watch, yet with the context of the scene in place, it doesn't feel right. For instance, the duel between Finn and Captain Phasma was fun to watch, but once the resolution was reached, the rush of adrenaline gained from watching the scene stopped at the realisation that Phasma was killed and had incredibly minimal screen time. This is why The Last Jedi ranks lower than any other Star Wars film in my honest opinion. By the end, you aren't left feeling satisfied. In a story driven saga such as this, the story should leave you enticed but sadly I walked out of the cinema after watching something predictable and displeased with this being the defining midpoint of the new trilogy, it feels more like a film you would find filling the gaps between two of the main ones. Let's hope that Episode IX may just do it some form of justice.